going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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