you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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