After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
and you fell through a lawn chair
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
