never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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