she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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