RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
