I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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