we have pet lesbian snakes
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize