I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
