So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The air taste purple.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
