the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
