so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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