Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dignity is for republicans.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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