I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
