Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
