i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize