I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
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We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
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The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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