great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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