Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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