Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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