i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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