And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
