Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
