Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
