My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
