I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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