so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
