just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
