It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
