Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
