we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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