its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
