She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
