I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
