How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she pinky promised me she was 18
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
