Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
