hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
