I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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