On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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