The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
