I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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