what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
