i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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