So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
