need another drink. this is the easiest way
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
