Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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