Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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