just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
