I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
