she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
