He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
