Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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