Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
