I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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