Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
