I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sext me about skeletons
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
