i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize