Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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