I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
