She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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