No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
