can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
