Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
