if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
