How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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