Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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