Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
