Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize