I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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